In today’s world, the term ‘red flag’ is commonly used to describe a person who doesn’t seem the right fit for someone. As red is used to show danger, referring to someone as a red flag is an indicator that the relationship with that person should be stopped sooner or later.
So we are going to list here some points that can be considered red flags in a relationship according to the people involved in it:
- Controlling behavior: If your partner is overly controlling of you, including but not limited to checking who calls you, asking you repeatedly where you are going and who you are going with, what decisions you make, who your friends are, etc., then it might be time to fact check yourself and see it as the red flag it is.
- Lack of trust: Trust is a very important stepping stone in the building of a relationship but if there is a lack of trust in your relationship from your partner, then it might be time to re-evaluate your relationship and see that your partner might be a red flag.
- Abuse: Abuse doesn’t always have to be physical. This abuse includes physical, mental or emotional abuse where a person harms you and causes you distress in any or all these domains.
- Substance Abuse: While substance abuse is a mental health concern and can be taken care of with the right amount of help, you need to ask yourself whether your partner was upfront about their substance use and even if you are willing to help them, are they ready to take that help and become better?
- Anger issues: Anger is a normal human emotion and everyone feels anger at some point or other in their life. But if that anger is frequent, unmanageable or turns into aggression, leads to physical altercation or it makes you frightened for your wellbeing then it is time to see it as the red flag it is and deal with it accordingly.
- Codependency: A relationship is supposed to be supportive where you both grow individually and together but if that same relationship turns into a dependency where both of you are not able to function without each other or you don’t have anyone else besides each other, then you need to analyze your relationship and work on it.
- Communication issues: If your partner doesn’t communicate with you like they should, or even refuses to communicate especially when a conflict arises then it might become an issue and a red flag in a relationship.
- Jealousy: While jealousy in a certain amount seems cute in a relationship, if it turns into an overly jealous one where your partner forbids you from even talking to someone then that might be a red flag and you ought to check that out.
- Gaslighting: Gaslighting is when your partner does something but manipulates you into thinking that you might be the issue or that you are in the wrong. It is a form of emotional abuse and a clear red flag in a person and relationship.
- Boundary issues: Even while in a relationship a person has boundaries that not even their partners should cross. They should take care of these boundaries irrespective of whether they seem insignificant or not. If your partner doesn’t understand you saying ‘No’, then it might be time to say no to the relationship.
- Love Bombing: Love bombing is the situation when a person moves too fast or tries to overwhelm you with too many positive emotions too soon in the relationship. They might not always have a hidden agenda but it is better to be cautious of it and keep it in check.
- Discussing an ex: How a person discusses an ex or if they compare you to their ex could become an indication of a person being a red flag. If a person’s every relationship ended because of their crazy ex then it might be that they are an issue instead of their exes.
- Inconsistent behavior: A person having inconsistent behavior towards you is a big indicator of how they are. Sometimes they text you and sometimes they don’t reply for days on end or showing emotions one day and icing you out the next could be because they are a red flag.
- Don’t make an effort: When a person doesn’t make an effort to get to know your loved ones or in a relationship then it might be better to communicate it with them and if their response seems indifferent to that fact or they don’t accept it or gaslight you then they might be a red flag.
How to Deal with Red Flags in the Relationship
While identifying a red flag is important, it doesn’t do you any good if you are not addressing them and dealing with them to either salvage the relationship or break it off for the better. Dealing with red flags can take a lot out of you and might help you learn a lot if you are willing so be sure that you are emotionally and mentally strong when you do deal with them.
Some Ways to Deal With the Red Flags in the Relationship:
- Acknowledge your needs: As our relationship progresses a lot of us tend to sacrifice our needs and wants for the betterment of the relationship or to make our partner happy. So, to deal with red flags, the most important thing is to acknowledge your needs and start taking care of yourself first.
- Communication is key: Any part of dealing with stuff means communicating about it. In this case, this communication should be first with your partner and others if required. If your partner is willing to listen to your communication and work on the things you tell them, then the relationship can still be healthy.
- Don’t let your emotions guide you: When a person lets their emotions guide them, they get the rose tinted glasses which just reminds them of the good times. If you are trying to confront your partner and communicate your needs then you need to try and not become emotional about it.
- Be honest with yourself: You need to be honest with yourself whether you want to continue being in the relationship or are you just trying to save it because you are afraid of being lonely. When you are honest with yourself only then can you be honest with your partner and work on the relationship accordingly.
- Seek professional help: If a relationship seems too much to deal with on your own or if you feel it has turned abusive, it is better to seek help than to just deal with it or let it be.
Conclusion
While red flags is a very common term being used today and it might seem that every person is a red flag, it is better to take a look at the signs and work on it accordingly. It might be the case that not everyone is a red flag or that they mean to be a red flag. It just might be a trait they have which they don’t know and if you communicate with them they might turn themselves around for the better. However, if you feel this is something that is not working out or your partner doesn’t seem to be willing to work on it or they revert to their patterns or you just don’t want to be in the relationship then it might be time to be honest with yourself about it and take appropriate action.
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