Long distance relationships are the ones where the couple involved in the relationship do not live close to each other and hence, they are unable to be together as frequently as they liked. In this case, couples could be living a few hours away from each other or a whole continent away.
How Long Distance Relationships are different
Most couples break up when they think about pursuing a long distance relationship. Instead of thinking about how they can work together to make the relationship work, they accept the fact that most long distance relationships don’t work and they might as well save themselves the pain of having to break up later.
Being in a long distance relationship comes with its own challenges which are difficult to navigate alone especially if only one person is making all the effort. But it also provides a person with opportunities to grow individually and learn more about themselves. It can also encourage communication between the partners and deeper understanding of each other.
A relationship, in itself, is defined as a bond between two people who love each other. People in a relationship care for each other and provide support to their partner. Relationships require commitment and people in long distance relationships tend to make that commitment by agreeing to be in one.
Difficulties in a Long Distance Relationship
- Not thinking it through: Going from a regular relationship to a long distance one changes things. And when couples don’t think that or do not discuss the very real aspects of their relationship over a long distance, then it can lead to them being blindsided when things change.
- Not getting time together: Being in a long distance relationship means having your own life without the other person being present and it can lead to you both not getting time together to talk with each other daily. And if you are in different continents then the different time zones just add to the issues.
- Fear of infidelity: Some couples go through their long distance relationships with trust. They trust that their partner will not cheat on them. But the majority of the people in long distance have a fear of their partner cheating on them. This can make a crack in the foundation of the relationship which doesn’t go easily.
- Boredom of a routine: When you start doing things in a relationship out of routine or out of an obligation, and you don’t feel excited about talking to the other person, that’s when you should know that you are in boredom. And that boredom can sometimes lead to the decline of a relationship.
- Differences in various aspects: A relationship flourishes better when you both share some things in common. Opposites attract but they can also lead to heavy conflicts. What keeps a relationship going is the fact that there are some things which you can talk about with the same passion or do things which you mutually enjoy.
- Communication breakdown: Any relationship requires communication. But a long-term relationship relies on communication heavily. And when this communication breaks down, there are issues in the relationship which start rising and don’t resolve unless and until there is resolution of those issues.
- Not showing honesty: Another very important part of a relationship is honesty. In long-distance relationships, since the partners are not there with each other, honesty becomes a very important stepping stone. When there is dishonesty, there also comes the frustration, annoyance, and feeling of betrayal.
Making Long-Distance Relationship Work
- Using Technology: In a long-distance relationship, technology becomes the most important medium. Giving day-to-day updates by texting, sending each other pictures via snapchat, using instagram to send reels which are relatable, or video-calling each other everyday can help in making the people in the relationship feel involved.
- Be Honest: Honesty goes a long way. If you are feeling a certain way, let your partner know. Let them know the insecurities, the fears you might have about the relationship. And let them know about the things you love in the other person. Share the good and bad with honesty.
- Have The Difficult Conversation: It can be really difficult to actually talk to each other about where the relationship will go and how long you can be in a long-distance relationship. But it is imperative that you have that conversation. Maybe yours or your partner’s priorities have changed from what it was before, so you need to be clear on it. Because if the relationship is not turning towards you both living in the same place, then it might be easier to just let it go.
- Spend Time Together: Set a time to do things together. It could be watching something together while being on video call or call or text, reading the same book and discussing it, playing an online game, learning something together, cooking the same meal. Do any activity which you both can do together virtually.
- Make Plans: Think about the next time you will meet each other, where you will meet, what you both can do etc. Having a plan and looking forward to it can help you go through daily life with a new found motivation. You can also plan surprises, plan a surprise visit, send something randomly especially when you know they are feeling down.
- Be Trusting: When cute little insecurities turn into full-blown jealousy or even accusations of infidelity then it can lead to the downfall of your relationship. So, be trusting of your partner. If you have insecurities, communicate them to your partner in a call. See to it that you both are willing to work together through them.
- Set Boundaries: Long-distance relationships mean you both have an individual life with people your partner might not know. Set boundaries about going out, let the other person know about them, reassure them but also let them know to not doubt you, and set rules about sharing on social media maturely.
- Clear Communication: Having clear communication is very necessary. If it is something important that you need to discuss then do it via call because things get miscommunicated in text. Do not jump to conclusions about anything. Instead, use your mind to keep calm and discuss it with your partner.
- Look at the positive side: Being in a long-distance relationship can make you biased towards seeing just the negatives. And while it is good that you acknowledge the negative, make sure to look at the positives. Think about the amount of time you are getting for personal growth, learning new things and for your friendships.
- Be Self-Aware: Remember to be self-aware about your feelings and needs. You can try mindfulness techniques to understand your emotions, thoughts, feelings and what works for you to get yourself out of the negative feelings.
Conclusion
Being in a long-distance relationship can be tough and not every couple survives it. Some couples break up even at the prospect of long-distance and those who stick it out and go into long distance, half of them break up later on, mostly owing to the reasons mentioned above. Being long-distance is tough but not impossible. If you take time out for each other, be honest, and have good communication then you can survive the long-distance as long as the end goal is to end up in the same place eventually.
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